super super super super happy day. haven been this happy in a long time. its not tt ive been sad just tt today i was REALLY SUPER happy :)
had an epiphany
felt qt sian alone at home today and angry with myself cos i actually intended to wake up earlier and go laguna to exercise but because of my laziness i woke up at 2 so couldnt do anything. so i decided to go secret recipe and listen to this cd of sermons tt darren passed to me. after listening i needed to pray and cycled to the beach to do tt but when i reached it started raining and thats when it hit me. the God i worship is so mighty and powerful and amazing and i love Him so much, how can i keep silent about Him so often? how could i continue letting my own fear of what people would say stand in the way of the expansion of His kingdom? and this joy filled me and i kept pedaling and the rain was in my eyes and i was just sooooooooooo happy. i think if pple saw me they would have thot i was mad cos i was like laughing and talking to myself and singing and pedalling at full speed drenched. even when i told dave abt it later i was like laughing and smiling so much he oso thot i was mad haha. but anyway, i realised something abt myself: that even in my desire to be a missionary my own focus in my mind was always helping rather than evangelism, in serving the poeple who cannot help themselves rather than opening thier minds to the truth of the gospel! and i really never thought about it this way before and i realise that tt is a wrong thinking so im so glad tt God has shown me and allowed me to try to change this. evangelism has always been really hard for me and even as i teach my girls to share their stories and not be afraid of sharing i know tt i am being a hypocrite because so many times i have let these fears prevent me from sharing as well and i have been hiding behind excuses for so long. im just so grateful for God for speaking to me today, its times like this tt i cling to whenever i feel that maybe God isnt real after all because they show me tt my God is a real and living God and so worthy of my adoration and worship forever.
i love You i love You i love You
had an epiphany
felt qt sian alone at home today and angry with myself cos i actually intended to wake up earlier and go laguna to exercise but because of my laziness i woke up at 2 so couldnt do anything. so i decided to go secret recipe and listen to this cd of sermons tt darren passed to me. after listening i needed to pray and cycled to the beach to do tt but when i reached it started raining and thats when it hit me. the God i worship is so mighty and powerful and amazing and i love Him so much, how can i keep silent about Him so often? how could i continue letting my own fear of what people would say stand in the way of the expansion of His kingdom? and this joy filled me and i kept pedaling and the rain was in my eyes and i was just sooooooooooo happy. i think if pple saw me they would have thot i was mad cos i was like laughing and talking to myself and singing and pedalling at full speed drenched. even when i told dave abt it later i was like laughing and smiling so much he oso thot i was mad haha. but anyway, i realised something abt myself: that even in my desire to be a missionary my own focus in my mind was always helping rather than evangelism, in serving the poeple who cannot help themselves rather than opening thier minds to the truth of the gospel! and i really never thought about it this way before and i realise that tt is a wrong thinking so im so glad tt God has shown me and allowed me to try to change this. evangelism has always been really hard for me and even as i teach my girls to share their stories and not be afraid of sharing i know tt i am being a hypocrite because so many times i have let these fears prevent me from sharing as well and i have been hiding behind excuses for so long. im just so grateful for God for speaking to me today, its times like this tt i cling to whenever i feel that maybe God isnt real after all because they show me tt my God is a real and living God and so worthy of my adoration and worship forever.
i love You i love You i love You
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